As I continue my theme of "Finding Joy", I am noticing that when I am consciously being more observant of little things around me, it is easier to find some joy, even on hard days.
Today began as one of those tough days. I noticed that it was the second day that one of my students was absent. Now in Covid19-land that really isn't a big red flag. I have students gone every day. Especially since we are in hybrid learning, I only see some of my students every other day so my classes are very small. This student is one that was an exception. His life experiences made it possible for him to continue to attend school every day even during hybrid learning. With our smaller classes, I have been spending extra time with this student and getting to know him better all the time. When I saw that he was gone again today, I had a sinking feeling in my chest and asked if there was any information about why he wasn't present. That is when I learned that my student was missing. He has been gone two days and his whereabouts are unknown at this time.
I felt like a hundred-pound weight had just been dropped on my chest. The rest of my morning, I was contacting my prayer groups to pray for his safety and return. At lunchtime, I was still feeling very down and rather numb. No matter how difficult a student may be, I still get so attached to each and every one of them.
I was at my desk, looking out the windows. My room is situated between two buildings and I sit a bit lower than the other two. This creates a whirlwind effect when the wind is blowing more than usual. Leaves and other debris can swirl around in circles as the gusts blow between the buildings. All of a sudden, I noticed feathers....blowing in the wind. There must be a bird's nest on top of the buildings because today I keep seeing feathers float in circles as they catch a breath of wind. Every few minutes another bright white feather swirls up towards the building's roof then floats back and forth as it gently finds a landing spot, whether on top of the roof or all the way on the ground.
I remembered the movie, Forrest Gump, as I watched the floating feather. In the movie, the feather represents the cycle of life, birth, death, and coming full circle to begin again. That is what I think the feather is telling me today. Life is a full circle of events. Good, bad, happy, sad, sick, and healthy. A constant churning...and we are all feathers floating between the buildings. We catch a gust and ride it until the next breeze comes along and hopefully pick up glimpses of joy throughout the process.
Life as Forrest is famous for saying, "Is a box of chocolates, you never know what you're gonna get." Today my joy was finding a feather and then noticing the succession of feathers playing in the breeze outside my window. My joy continued when I looked up feather videos to share. The joy I am finding today doesn't erase the concern I have for my student. I will continue to pray for his safety. But life is a cycle and even with the sadness and concern, there is still joy.
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