Find Your Tribe = Joy

 I had the best time today at the gym.  Many might think that is an odd statement. After all,  a person goes to the gym to work out, sweat and generally get tired from exercise.  But I found myself in the middle of my workout class with a big smile and enjoying every minute of it.  Why? It's simple.  I have found my tribe.

When I first retired and went to the morning gym classes, the 8:30 a.m. ones,  the time in the past when I would have been at work each week day,  I was once again walking into a group of people that I didn't know and had to work to meet.  This seems to be my destiny.  I have always walked into new situations alone and made a spot for myself.  Well this time, the new retired me not only entered a new situation, I found my tribe.  A great group of women, the majority of which are 60 years old and older, who exercise, smile, laugh and encourage each other several times a week.  

Today's class was a group exercise dance class.  Here we were, a room full of women grooving to club songs , most of us with some grey in our hair, and having a blast.  Now if someone were to look into the classroom ( and many do) I was wondering what they would see.  I could imagine a TikTok of all of us with this song playing, the one we were working out to today: 

It tickled me so much!  Just imagine. 

 It's so much fun, but I kept thinking about what my kids would see if they walked by.  I'm certain they'd laugh and love it.  Much like the other night when we were all together for Christmas playing a card deck game  ( Like "Apples to Apples" or any of the variety where you play by matching answer cards to topic cards).  On one of my turns, I had to read a card that was so much cooler than I am, It had texting slang in it and honestly, I needed to be about 18 years old and have more of a swagger to carry it off, consequently my kids died laughing at the almost 60 year old white mama trying read the card.  I was ribbed and teased but we all laughed until we cried.  

That's how I felt today, with "my tribe," grooving to the club songs and having a blast even though I knew it had to be a sight to see.

It got me thinking.  I think each of us are truly most happy when we find our tribe to be with.  Each person may have a different definition of tribe.  It might be a tight knit family, a group of friends in a social club, school peers, sports team, church members, co-workers, or any other set of people who share a common interest or passion.  It must be something one looks forward to doing and the others in the group encourage attendance to feel a sense of belonging.  Whatever the tribe, as long as it fulfills the needs of camaraderie and acceptance then happiness and joy will ensue.  

As we approach the New Year, my wish for each person is that they may find their tribe, something to look forward to each day of 2023.  And most of all, embrace the joy! 

You're Gonna Make It: Unlocking Resilience When Life Is A Mess

 Whelp, here I am, four months into retirement.  Do I like it? YES! Has every moment been easy in this transition....no.  I floundered around for a while the last couple months, knowing that school would be starting and wondering what exactly to do with all my time.  It was one of those lost days when I checked my email and found I had a message from WaterBrooke Multnomah.  It was the opportunity to join one of their launch teams for a new book.  I'm always ready to see what they are publishing so I opened the email and, I couldn't believe my eyes.  It was as if God had not only been listening to my prayers asking how to transition to this new stage of growth called retirement, but also was putting tangible help right into my hands.

The email contained an invite to read and review Daniel Fusco's new book, "You're Gonna Make It, Unlocking Resilience When Life Is A Mess."   

This is my first Daniel Fusco book to read, and I didn't know what to expect, but I loaded it into my trusty Kindle and opened the page.  My first impression was, wow.  Not because the first few words of Fusco's book were astounding, (though they were very good) but because his writer's voice was so conversational.  It was like he was sitting across the table from me, just having a nice chat and telling me a story from his past.  The book continues in this conversational prose throughout.  I found reading Fusco's book very comforting as if he and I were becoming friends and he was encouraging me through God's word to find peace and hope in fostering resilience as I work through life's changes.  

Now, I love reading my bible, but I can't always say I love reading biblical nonfiction.  Depending on the topic, I can often find them insightful but dry, almost mind numbing and I have to work at staying focused and purposeful when reading and studying.  Yet Fusco's book, "You're Gonna Make It," didn't feel that way at all.  He does a good job of incorporating personal accounts, pop culture references (to keep it interesting), biblical teachings and pastoral explanations.  I continually felt encouraged and fed as I read.  I actually spent a few nights reading it in bed and staying up a little too late because I didn't want to put it down, I just had to get to the end of the chapter.  This never happens for me when I read nonfiction, so that is a true endorsement!   

Now I look forward to checking out Fusco's other books but I want to encourage everyone to read, "You're Gonna Make It."  No matter what stage of life you are in reader, let's face it, life is always messy and we can never foster too much resilience through the help of God.  

Potiphar's Wife

 So, I've been busy, at least until this week.  I just saw my son, graduate  high school and that was a busy weekend.  Then I finished the school year and retired with all that the transition entailed.  Finally this week I have been able to take the time to read for one of my launch team commitments with Waterbrook Multnomah. I received an advance copy for an honest review.  Kind of like a great meal, you save the best for last when it can be savored.  That was my experience this week with Mesu Andrews newest book, a fictional novel, Potiphar's Wife.  I always enjoy fictional books best and when saturated with historical facts and references the treat is so much sweeter.  

Potiphar's Wife is an intriguing story of Pharaoh's  Egypt during the time of Joseph and his brother's from Jacob.  The story of Joesph is a well told one from young children's Sunday school lessons to a Broadway musical.  Yet in each telling we hear of the woman siren who tried to entice Joseph to sin, yet we never fully meet her to know her story.  Andrews clearly states in her afterward and author's notes that her novel Potiphar's wife is a work of fiction.  However she did do ample research to place as much historical fact into the story as possible.  Through research she learned that Potiphar's wife in the Koran was named Zulieka.  She also found evidence of political happenings at the time period of Joseph's captivity in Pharaoh's Egypt to weave into her story. Through her research and author's creativity she has written a compelling tale that makes both the time period and biblical characters come to life to entice readers to not only enjoy the story, but peak curiosity to delve further into the bible to learn more truths about the world of the old testament and the people who worshiped God through faith and determination.

I must say that many plot twists and turns kept my attention throughout the story.  I won't share because spoilers ruin the fun.  But even until the very end, I was surprised with sone of the events.  In my opinion that creates an entertaining and fun story. 

I can't wait for Andrew's next book, as she makes the characters so real it is hard to say goodbye to them.  I recommend Potiphar's Wife to anyone looking for fiction to enhance the story of Joseph and his life in Egypt.

Saving kids....

 This May, May 20th to be exact, I am retiring from public education.  I have not been on the job as long as many others, I was a late bloomer and finished my degree after my own children were in high school. So I am retiring with 17 years in my current district and about 6 from another district and being a para from a special education cooperative.  I have mixed feelings about retiring.  I wish I could have taught longer, but my health mandates less stress.  

Over the last 17 years  I have worked in various positions and over all I have worked diligently to save kids.  Mostly that meant to help kids (students) graduate from high school.  In high school you have to earn all your credits in the courses needed to graduate.   If a course is not passed then it must be repeated.This is not the same from previous years in education.  From kindergarten through 8th grade a student can be promoted even when they don't pass the course content, but when high school is reached, every credit counts.  

17 years ago, when I began working at Buhler,  I found that more than ever, I love helping students.  Trying to learn who they are and how they feel about school then how they best learn was my passion.  It still is my passion. However I learned the last couple years that it is time to embrace a new adventure and retire.I wish I had a count of all who graduated high school that I had in my classes.  I have loved them so much.  They make me smile.  I listen to their joys and hurts.  I listen to their dreams and I hope that they meet them and find joy in their future.  

However, covid happened, and attitudes changed.  Students lost drive and so did I .  The pandemic took its toll.  One unique positive came from the last two years.  A student, a boy, pre-pandemic, an unexpected life changing event.  Johnny.

Johnny began as a sophomore student in my class in January 2020.  Now Johnny is a member of my family and a son to me.  Johnny is a gregarious person who captures friends and hearts with his outgoing personality.   Johnny isn't an easy student.  He has a big personality.  Yet I love him.  

He will graduate from high school in two weeks, and I am very proud of him.  I work hard to make sure he has all the paperwork he needs completed for college done and that he is prepared for the next step in his education.  I want him to reach all the goals he sets for himself.  I treat him the same as I did my son and daughter.  He reaps all the benefits of a school mom who loves him as well as the consequences of a school mom that is focussed on education.  Yet he seems to deal with me well. =)

I think in my heart Johnny represents all the students I have had and loved and tried to help.  He is special because of the circumstances, I actually took him home to care for him and "mom" him, even though I mom most of my students every day.  Johnny has a family, a mom and a dad and brother and sisters, yet he allows me to care for him too.  it is a blessings for both of us.  

I will meet some of Johnny's family on May 14th, at graduation.  I am nervous.  Just because I don't know them yet.  I am humbled that I get to be a part of his life.  I want to care for him and give him a home.  I know his family loves him too.  It will be a special day.  

It will be so hard to leave the school and the building on May 20.  But I know each student that I ever had in my classes will remain a part of my heart.  I will miss my peers, my colleagues.  They have been my family for so many years, I have been with them everyday and they have treated me dearly.  It hurts to know I won't see them 10 months of the year.  Yet I know it is time. 

New adventures await, New challenges are ahead, and those at school, both students and faculty-friends will forever be in my heart. ❣️

What Remains True

 Nancy Naigle has once again captured my heart through the characters in her newest release, What Remains True published by Waterbrook and Multnomah with a release date of May 3, 2022.  As a member of her launch team, I was privileged to read an early release copy and I can sincerely say that from the first page I was hooked.  

The book begins with this quote, "Embrace this day, and make it your goal to make each one memorable. Say yes to new opportunities."  Merry Anna Foster, a big city COO for her family's office supply chain of stores is in need of a change of pace.  To prove a point to her ex husband and his request for more alimony,  she finds herself in the small town of Antler Creek.  With the intention of staying only a couple weeks, Merry Anne rents an old cowboy bunkhouse and takes a job as a sales clerk for the bunkhouse owner's gift shop.  Over qualified for the position, Merry Anna quickly becomes indispensable to the shop's owner and becomes friends.  She gets to know the neighbors and community of Antler Creek, especially the handsome bachelor bull-rider who owns the land next to her home as well as the local feed store.  Adam Locklear has one goal for his life, to win the upcoming national bull riding championship and begin a new business enterprise.  Through various twists and turns, life presents many challenges and joys.

One of my favorite aspects of Naigle's stories is the way she builds her characters. Her character development is so rich and engaging that I end up becoming attached to them and dread the end of the story, just because I won't be able to be a part of their lives any longer.  That is really a true gift in a story teller, when they can create a sense of caring for the fictional people.  Naigle does just that and makes it hard to say goodbye to them.  

As sad as I am to complete Naigle's books, I know that I can look forward to her next adventure when she introduces me to an entire new set of people to get to know again.  Naigle is one of my favorite author's and I heartily recommend , What Remains True for your next read.  

Crowned With Glory

 I recently received a new book from Waterbrook and Multnomah and I was charmed with their new publication, "Crowned with Glory" by Dorena Williamson.  "Crowned with Glory" is the story of a little black girl and her joy in her individual beauty starting with her wonderful unique hair.  She embraces all the styles and ways that she can express herself and her God given beauty.  The book is a rhyming narrative that catches the reader's attention from the start.  I appreciate children's books that explore the diversity of various people and how God made each of us perfect and beautiful in our own way. I am pleased to recommend "Crowned with Glory" to my readers.  

Hues of You

 Waterbrook and Multnomah did it again!  They have published a book that parents and teachers both need to share with their students and children in today's world!  Well done!  "Hues of You:An Activity Book for Learning About the Skin You Are In," created by  Lucretia Carter Berry, PhD, is an exceptional tool for teaching children the bare facts about skin tone, culture, and race.  

I can't say enough about how well it is presented, perhaps I feel that way because when my children were young this is how I explained skin tones to them.  We focused on color as a genetic origin due to melanin levels in the skin and not as a product purely of race or culture.  We discussed how various people look due to where their ancestors and the climate that their families originated and why this affected their overall appearance.  "Hues of You" approaches the topic in exactly the same way.  

One facet of the activity book that I particularly enjoy is the task of coming up with creative names for the family member's skin colors.  The book explains why skin takes on so many various color hues and then instructs the child to think of a name for their own tone.  If I did this I would call my tone "lightly toasted white bread," because I am not pure white but a combination of paleness from my norwegian heritage and brown spots  from my age and love of all things sunny in the summertime.  My daughter's skin tone I would name "ivory cream" because it makes me think of soft and silky paleness with only a small amount of tint to it.  My son of the heart is definitely "butterscotch lifesaver."  He has a handsome toffee color hue which is striking with his dark hair and eyes.  

Just as in the activity book, it is fun to come up with positive fun names for all the varied colors that each person has which is unique to them no matter the race or culture.  

I hope that many parents and teachers of younger children choose to share,  "Hues of You:An Activity Book for Learning About the Skin You Are In" with their students and families.  I feel it is an important topic to talk and learn about, and Lucretia Carter Berry's book does an excellent job of making the reader enjoy the lesson and find creative ways to express their own individuality!

What next? Me.

     I made a tough decision that I have agonized over for months.  At the end of this school year, I am retiring from education.  Even now saying this makes me choke up a little bit.  So many layers have lead me to this decision, it's so hard, but necessary.  

I'm excited for the lifestyle change, scared about what it will all look like, and melancholy saying goodbye to the classroom setting and the camaraderie of  colleagues and students.  Yet, it is necessary because I can't be a healthy me any longer in education,  and that's pretty sad for me.

When I started being an ESL (English Second Language) paraprofessional and then Targeted Assistance Teacher 15 years ago at a local high school (yep, I am a late bloomer when it comes to getting my college degree), I was so excited to teach students and work to make their educational experiences easier and rewarding for them.  I prided myself on working with each student, teaching and reteaching each concept until they were confident and able to be successful.  If I even had one student fail one class, I felt like I had failed them, and found even more ways to help them learn the material.   During the first several years, I often had students not interested in learning, and choosing to be on their phones rather than get help. Yet I was always able to get them to re engage with me and complete whatever work needed done with some encouragement and showing them that I genuinely cared about their success.  

So much has changed.

Before the last two years of Covid's reign on our world, I had always planned on working until I turned 60 years old.  I have consistently said that I didn't want to be the teacher that was grumpy, I would stop teaching before that happened.  Well, here I am, turning 58 in April, and retiring.  

I don't feel healthy any longer even with lifestyle changes.  This mostly comes from me, I am a fixer, a caregiver, and I just can't fix the students anymore.  This makes me disheartened.  I first noticed the change the fall we came back after having to go full remote in March of 2020.  The fear and the constant unknown of what protocols and situations would arise next took a toll on everyone.  Students were in hybrid learning, which in our high school meant alternate groups came to school on alternate days. The students were informed that everyday was a school day and even when they physically were not in the building they were still responsible for learning that day.   Lessons were introduced daily through their internet classrooms, assignments were given and expectations held.  But honestly, learning only happened for most students when they were in the building.  Home days were days that they checked in with teachers then checked out for the rest of the day.  A new contagion came into the school that I would not have expected, but in my heart has been more devastating to the students than Covid.  It's apathy. 

Since we have been introduced to the Covid world, many students are so disconnected from their learning and more connected with their technology through various devices and sources that learning is extremely hard to maintain.   Now, granted, my job is working with students that benefit from extra assistance.  They are not the students that are excited to be at school and often fail to thrive in an educational setting.  Yet somehow I could always reach them, now I can't.  

They do just enough to get by, sometimes not even that.  I offer help, I encourage, and they turn me down. Some completely refusing to do anything.  Often I am told, "I don't feel like doing anything, so I am just not going to," or "I have just a little bit to do, I'm almost done," yet they haven't even started.  And when I call them out on it, show them that I know how much they need to complete, they shrug and go back to their phones, computers, or just sitting.  It's so sad.

As I said before, I am a fixer.  When I realized that I can't fix apathy, I started to see a negative change in myself. My blood pressure has consistently risen over the past two years with needing more and more medication. I have gained weight and can't seem to take it back off.  I am more depressed and introverted than ever before.  I just can't be me anymore.  I am fixer....I can't fix my students, sadly, but maybe I can fix me.

So at the end of May, 2022, I am going to embark on a new world adventure.  I don't know what it looks like yet, but I know it is the right thing for me. I plan to concentrate of becoming a healthier and happier me again, first of all, then see what comes my way.

I am so thankful for the years I have had in education, the students I have worked with and the teachers who have taught me so much just being in their classrooms.  I have met wonderful individuals who have enriched my life.  I have a son of the heart that I would never have met or made "mine"  if he hadn't walked into my classroom two years ago. 

I announced to the school board last week my decision.  It was extremely hard, but change is. Looking forward to May and the new horizon ahead.