In My Mind's Eye...

     The old adage, "you are as old as you think you are," is more true than false.  I remember hearing my mother tell me about a time this saying came into play with my grandmother, her mother.   As my grandmother aged, memory became a challenge for her.  At one time, following my grandfather's death, grandma came to live with my parents.   I can't remember exactly how old my grandmother was at the time, but I believe she was about 90 years old.
      One time she asked my mom the question, "How old am I now?"  When my mother told her that she was 90 years old, grandma replied, "Oh no, that can't be! I can't be that old!"  Obviously, in grandma's mind and feelings, she was still much younger.   This memory came strongly back to me when I recently realized that I don't feel my age either.
      Here I am, 51 years old, but I actually mentally feel about 30.  I catch myself at the gym, looking around at the other women working out and judging my own appearance.  It's strange how we do not always compare ourself with someone our own age. I for example,  seem to compare myself with certain body types instead.
     Because I feel young inside, I look at younger people and think, wow...I am so not toned, or I have bulges here and bumps there, and they don't have any! How do they stay so fit?  I get so frustrated with myself that I can not get to that level of appearance.
     After a personal destructive criticism session that I  recently gave myself, I realized that the people I am comparing myself to are  much younger than I am.  That would account for some of the body differences.  When I was their age, I too was thin, toned, and had a flat stomach.  So why do I torture myself?  I think it goes back to not realizing that I am the age that I am.
     If a person "feels" that they are 20 or 30 years younger than they actually are, then it is logical (though unhealthy) that  the person would compare to those that age.   So what's wrong with that?  It's not apples to apples, and it's just a bad idea.
      It's okay to feel like a young soul in mind, and feel young in body, but remember that there has been much memory making happening in the body that takes a toll on the appearance.
      For example,  the flat stomach that is no longer there, was sacrificed to the birthing of two beautiful human beings whom I cherish. Yes, it can be thinned and toned again, but it will never be the same as it was nor should it be because it is a badge of honor.
     So, feel young, but keep your eyes open to who you are.  Remember to try not to compare yourself with others, but if you find yourself doing so, at least look at those who are truly in your peer group.  Chances are, you will see that for your age you are just where you should be and the end result is that accepting who you are and how you got to where you are now will be heartening to your body and mind.