God's Plan is Humbling!

 Yesterday I had an experience that made me think about my life in a different perspective.  I think that as we grow older we tend to do more introspection and examine the events in our lives through various filters.  If you have read this blog in the past, you are aware that my faith in Christ is an important part of my life and how I try to live each day.  

When reading the bible, the more study and application one does, the more interconnections within the pages are found.  Prophesy from the old testament is revealed as events in the new testament.  The genealogy of Jesus dates back throughout the old testament -  so many areas are interwoven together. 

What I found myself marveling at yesterday is how one experience in life truly prepares us for how we approach and live future happenings; even though we probably have no clue why we are placed in the original event and it's purpose is not clear until much later in our life.  Yet when it does reveal its purpose, the connection is transforming and faith affirming.

To set the scene, I must first explain.  I am a person who has never fully settled into any one job as a career.  I actually sat down this morning and counted how many jobs or positions I have held that I was paid for my work; and the number is 17! In my 60 years of life I have worked 17 various jobs that I got a paycheck.  Everything from dental assistant to retail salesperson, to receptionist, tospecial education paraprofessional to Targeted assistance/ESOL instructor to SAT test scorer and most recently I am finishing credentials for water aerobics instructor.  Obviously, there are multitudes in between these listed but I just hit the highlights.  😊

I have never understood why I couldn't pick one career, settle in and do it long term. I am just always wanting to learn something new, try something different, and when approached with a new challenge I think, "Yeah, I could do that."  But I have wondered why God put me in all these situations.  I grasped a small window of His will yesterday. 

As I listed, one job (my first job actually while I was still in high school) was as a dental assistant for a local dentist in my hometown.  I originally was hired to do mailing of billing and make patient reminder calls.  Over time I was assimilated into the practice as a chair assistant, which was a stressful position for me at such a young age. (I was 16-17 at the time.) I saw and assisted many procedures from fillings, to extractions, root canals - most general dentistry.  I'm not one to really want to see those things, but I did it anyway.  I have always wondered why God put me in that job, that place in time.  Especially since it gags me.  😕

Now, jump forward to my 60 year old self yesterday.  I volunteer at various events now that I am retired from school. This weekend I donated my time at KMOM (Kansas Mission of Mercy free dental clinic).  I worked the teeth brushing station where patients brushed their teeth prior to medical screening, I was a runner of paperwork from patient exit to coding, and I did a brief stint in sterilization.  No big deal. Not much blood and pain.  That was until the last two hours of my shift yesterday.  

One of my friends who works the event to organize volunteer placements came to get me.  She had a patient in extractions that was having severe panic attacks. She had a history of abuse and was having all her teeth removed due to infection and decay. She needed a comforter...she needed me.  I didn't exactly know what I was getting into, didn't know about all the extractions, I just knew someone needed me and I could do that, I could be there.  After I stepped into the area I saw what was going on. there were patients all around with dentists and assistants doing emergency dental procedures, like an emergency room for dental care.  I went in, introduced myself and  held her hands, encouraged her courage in the situation to get treatment and care for herself, and silently prayed as she cried. As the doctors worked as efficiently as possible to deaden her gums and remove all her damaged teeth I saw all the trauma and suturing, just as I had when I was 16 years old in a local dental practice. 

The woman was able to finish her procedure, and I stayed with her until she left with her friend.  It was excruciating for her.  It was emotionally difficult for me. But I know God put me in that place, at that time for this specific purpose.  Had I not had the experiences that I did early in life, I would not have been able to be there for her yesterday. I would most likely have fainted. It was rough. 

Right after she left, I took a break and thought about all that had happened. I am still humbled that God would choose me to be there for her.  To witness  to her while she was in recovery that I had silently prayed for her during the procedure. (She said she felt the prayers.) 🙏💗 And that God would have planned this all out more than 40 years from the time I was a teen until I was a retired 60 year old woman.  

Just as the bible is all interconnected throughout its pages, so are our lives.  My thoughts I want to leave with you reader are...don't discount the trials and challenges given in this lifetime we are allotted.  You never know how or when they will be used for good. 

Prayers for you all!

Legacy of Love

     Everyday I read the local obituaries in the online newspaper.  I think I started doing this a couple years ago when I retired from teaching.  Maybe because I am getting older, but I find myself reading them for several reasons.  

    First of all, of course I look to see if I know anyone who has passed.  Whether they are personally known by me or perhaps a family member of a friend or acquaintance.  But even if I don't know the person, I read through their obituary and see what they did with their life.

    I am always encouraged by the ones who leave a legacy behind that shows a life well lived.  I think that is what we all strive for, a legacy to leave behind to be remembered by after we have died.  It doesn't have to be a monumental achievement, such as an advanced degree and profession. It doesn't have to be someone who reached an advanced age, anyone at any age can leave a legacy of their life that honors their time here on earth.

    Today I read about a lady who will be remembered for her love of her family and how she dressed up as Mrs. Claus with her husband as Santa to share Christmas joy throughout their lifetime.  Yesterday I read about a lady who traveled the world and United States with her husband while he served in the Navy and after a lifetime of service she still went to school and achieved her nursing degree to work as a registered nurse to help others.  I did not know either of these individuals, but I feel enriched by reading about how they lived their lives serving others. 

    My best friend Beth left a legacy behind with the lives of her three boys, and what wonderful men they have grown up to be. She also left joy in my heart as I always remember her laugh and mannerisms and her artwork as well as the  indelible imprint she left on my life.  Her life was not long, but she certainly left a legacy behind.

    I think reading about others encourages me to live a life to leave a story behind as well.  It gives me courage to share what is in my heart in print, and to love the people around me extravagantly without reservations. 

 I want to leave a legacy of doing my best to witness about God's love and faithfulness. Not by standing on a street corner or by a showy display but by quietly living in obedience with his word as best as I can and loving others in the hope that they will want to read the bible and find the all encompassing joy and hope in faith that I have found. It's so powerful, how can you not want others to have it too. We all live messy lives, our paths are crooked and filled with both happy and challenging events. How we live and respond to those circumstances molds the legacy we leave behind.  

    My hope and prayer is that each person I come into contact with, or perhaps just the ones that will read about my life one day, will feel something that they can take with them the same way I feel when I read about others lives.  A life well lived doesn't have to be showy or extraordinary.  It just needs to leave behind a legacy of love.

Grateful, Thankful, Blessed

     November is one of my very favorite times of the year.  I love the cooler fall temperatures and the beauty of the autumn foliage, but most of all I love the focus we all share of thankfulness as we approach the holiday season.  There is an overlying presence of gratitude that comes with counting our blessings as we approach Thanksgiving and Christmas.  

    Just this week, as I was cleaning the house (a mundane chore that I do every week) I opened the patio doors to the crisp fall morning breeze and realized how truly thankful I am for simple household tasks.  I took some time to look around me and reframe my thinking as I tackled each job.  

    I am owned by a very fluffy long haired cat. She picked me out when I walked into a cats only animal shelter two years ago.  She came up to me and told me I was hers and that she would go home with me.  Willow is sweet and spicy, she loves to cuddle and wreak havoc on all of us intermittently. But I fight her constant cascade of long fur around the house.  I vacuum and clean constantly and still find tufts floating in the air or a poof of fur on the wood floors, even after I have just swept.  Right now she is lying on my hands as I endeavor to type this post, she is sighing in contentment with her paws near the track pad.  Now, I could grumble and moan about the constant upkeep my fur-sprinkling kitty creates but I am choosing to reframe my thinking and feel gratefulness for her presence in my life. Her trust as she lies in my arms, her little sighs of contentment as she sleeps and her willingness to come to me anytime I call  "little Willow" . I am thankful that I have to clean up fur because it allows me to enjoy my ornery kitty.

    As with the cat, I have a loud barking dog.  She does not take as much fur clean-up as the cat, but she makes her presence known.  There are a multitude of nose prints on my glass doors and low windows that she creates for me.  She barks at any dog and most animals on every television show or commercial that appears. She also barks at random leaves blowing across the driveway, the sound of squirrels running across the roof or owls hooting at night.  She really dislikes owls.  She can wake my husband and I out of a dead sleep with one high pitched yelp that acts as a defibrillator to my heart in the middle of the night.  Yet...I am so thankful for her.  She cuddles with me non-stop throughout my day, anytime when I am sitting.  She comforts me when I am sad and plays with me when I am joyful.  When Scott travels for work, she  sleeps right next to me so that I am not alone.  When I reframe my thinking to being grateful, I see what a blessing she is in my world.

    I am feeling grateful also for the freedom of choice in my life.  Choice is a huge blessing.  Choice is not a job like cleaning that is a boring necessity, but choice  is a conscious task that deserves gratefulness.    Choice includes little stuff like when I decide to decorate for Christmas. Each year I find myself getting out my decorations a bit earlier in the year because the holidays bring me so much joy.  I can be annoyed by all the comments of people complaining about "Christmas already?" or I can be thankful that I have a choice and can decorate and celebrate however and whenever I want to do it.  Choice also covers big things like government.  I am so thankful that I can choose who I want to vote for in the government that I live within.  It doesn't matter if my candidates win or lose, the mere fact that I have a voice and a choice is enough for me. Freedom is an enormous reason to feel thankful, and blessed.

    As everyone enters this holiday season, I fervently pray that they find time to put aside all the little "annoyances" in their lives, take time to pray, and reframe any negative thoughts to ones of gratefulness, thankfulness and feeling blessed in all things.  

God's blessings to you all!  

Aging gracefully? I can only hope...

     I ran into a friend at the farmer's market on Saturday.  She asked why I had not posted in quite a while....well, I haven't, but I didn't realize how long it had truly been.  I looked up the date today and saw that my last post was last December.  So that's almost 7 months ago.  Where does the time go?  

    I know one place the time went, it went in anticipation of a big birthday last April.  Usually I absolutely adore birthdays.  I love having birthday parties for my family and I love my own birthday.  However last year I dreaded my  approaching birthday for the first time that I can remember.  This April I turned 60.  

    In the end, it was really no big deal.  The earth didn't open and swallow me up.  Nothing changed in my world actually at all. It was the number I feared, not the actual body age.  This  last year I have done so much ruminating about my life and where I am in the process of living  while I have been anticipating turning 60.  I hope I have learned a few things in the process.  I know I have made some changes for the better, but I hope that I can continue to learn and follow the changes I have made.  

    One thing I did last May was stop drinking alcohol of any kind.  At first it was very hard for me to do, particularly in social situations.  I fondly consider myself a high functioning introvert.  I can be happy and social with others, but afterwards I need to decompress and recover .  Having alcohol definitely eased my social interactions with others.  But over time, I found I was finding more and more reasons to have a drink.  It is very easy to find reasons you need or want to drink.  It is much more difficult to remember and enact all the reasons you should not drink.  For my health, and the way I want to comport myself I decided that  I wanted to pursue an entirely sober lifestyle.  So far, so good.  I had my one year anniversary of that decision in May.  I feel good physically.  My skin is so much healthier and I don't regret making this decision.  I still feel anxious in social situations, but I order my diet soft drink and persevere onward.  Nowadays you get the true authentic me, and all the foibles that entails. =-)

    Another revelation I have made (more recently) is to stop looking back and ground myself in the present.  Have we all heard this advice FOR-E-VER? Yes.  We have.  So why has it taken me this long to begin living it?  Wish I knew. 

 I have another bad habit of comparing myself to others.  Not in possessions, but in personal circumstances such as body image.  I decided that I was turning 60, and I needed to stop this unhealthy habit.  Then, I began to look back at my own pictures over the years, comparing how I look today versus 5, 10, even 20 years ago.  I found (low and behold) I have aged!  Duh.  I sillily felt frustrated that I have more pounds, more wrinkles and more bumps or bulges.  That's when I learned that just as I can't compare myself to others who are different from me, I also can't compare myself now to a younger version of myself.  I will never be that age again and through living and enjoying life, I have used this body God blessed me with and it shows that I have.  I need to love the person I am today and enjoy where I am at in this earthly process.  Not wish for the body I used to have.  Twenty years from now I am certain I will see a picture of myself now and think, wow....I looked pretty good back when I was 60.  

    Finally, I have decided to continue to doggedly pursue my love and learning of God and His teachings.  I have never stopped doing this over my lifetime,  but my furtiveness has definitely waxed and waned throughout my years.  This last year I have read and studied through church, a small grow group at church and wonderfully also with my sister. I look forward to continuing this with joy and happiness.  

Has turning 60 changed me?  Not markedly, definitely not obviously, but I hope with this age and all the others that God chooses to bless me with I will thank God for each day and enjoy whatever I am given.  Prayers for all my family and friends and thanks Sheila for the encouragement to post.  ;-) .

    

Choose Your Hard

     The other weekend I had the best conversation with my daughter-in-law (well, I just call her my daughter).  Not only is she so smart and beautiful, but she is also very wise.  

    We were talking about many times in our lives when we have had to make difficult decisions, and how we dealt with the consequences of those decisions.  My daughter said something to me that resonated  with me and is still causing ripples in my thoughts.  She said, "Sometimes you just gotta' choose your hard."  

    As I said, I have been thinking about what she said for many days now.  She is absolutely right.  Many things in a lifetime have consequences where no matter the choice one makes, the outcome is going to be hard. Really hard. Painful and potentially long lasting.  One  choice over the other will not create an easier path, but  a decision must be made anyway.  As I have been reminiscing  my life choices, as well as watching my adult children make choices, I see the fruition of this statement over and over again.  

    Sometimes its a fairly innocuous decision, like going on a diet.  You know that changing your eating plan is going to be hard (different food choices and portions, probably feeling hungry).  Equally, being dissatisfied with an unhealthy weight is also hard, so you choose.  Which hard are you willing to live with?  

    Other times it may be huge life decisions like whether or not to start a family,  what choices to help elderly parents' lives with,  dealing with finances, or even health issues. In those examples all the choices may be very hard to live with and  may have consequences that  are not comfortable or ones that are definitely unwanted.  That's when "choosing your hard" is most poignant.  Not choosing isn't a variable offered.  A choice must be made.  What can you stand to deal with everyday.  

I've been doing much contemplating lately as I approach a big birthday number next year.  Most ages don't phase me.  For some reason this next one has had a different effect on my psyche.  It has caused me to think about what the next phase of my life will be like and how I want to live it. 

One "hard" that I have chosen is to give up drinking alcohol of any kind.  I decided that it wasn't a healthy choice for me physically or mentally.  Now, one might think... that's no big deal.  It's just alcohol after all.  Well, if you are one that has never drank much or at all, then it is not a "hard" for you.  But if you are someone who has regularly drank with family and in social interactions, it's hard.  It's everywhere.  Celebrations, social events, and even in my own home when we entertain.  It's provided for others, but I have chosen not to have any.  Am I healthier?  Yes.  Definitely.  But it is still hard and a conscious choice I must make all the time.  A new way to live that I am slowly becoming more accustomed to living. Yet hard.

Another area of hard choices would be conversations.  I'm thinking about topics like religion when discussed with family members, various relationship dynamics, or health concerns.  You can say nothing, and live with how you feel about the topic; hard.  You can broach the issue and very probably will have fallout either in the short term or long term; hard.  Neither is preferable.  So you choose your hard.

I kind of wish I had spoke to my children when they were younger about the  need for "choosing your hard". But I am oh so thankful for the conversation I had with my daughter, (thanks Jess) because now I am approaching decisions, big and small with a new mindset.  

I have been thinking about this and I know from now on as I make decisions I will remember the saying and it will help me weigh my decisions in a new way.  

A New Church Home...and the Why

 For those who want to know why:

How does one explain something that is a feeling more than a concrete thing?  I am taxed with the task of making sense of my thoughts and feelings to perhaps help others understand the why of my recent decisions.  I can hear my children say, “Mom, you don’t have to explain anything, you owe no one a justification.” They always amaze me with how kind and wise they are. And yet I have had letters and texts from some who want to know why. I decided to blog my thoughts to this, so here I will endeavor to say what is on my heart and mind, and why I have chosen to change churches and join another.

I have made many changes in my life the last couple years, but through everything I have always trusted the Lord to guide my life and decisions.  Which is why I chose to follow the path set before me. When one makes a decision to change places of worship there is an assumption that something has happened. After all, why would they choose to do something else? Surely they have been wronged, someone said a slight or they are dissatisfied with the pastor(s), the doctrine, the music.  There has to be something big that caused the decision.

For me, the answer is…nothing happened.  I was just spiritually led to a new church home.  I am someone who has held many positions in my past church home.  Raised my children in the church. Led programs and sat on the board of directors in various assignments and I always served.  But as the years passed, I continued to serve but I felt diminished in joy.  I recited the liturgy, sang the hymns along with the organ music, repeated the confessional and listened to the absolution said by the pastor, and I felt nothing.  My friends who I raised my children alongside in the church ceased attending. Families with younger children  in general stopped attending. I still served but it was a job and not an enrichment in my life.  I prayed and prayed.  There were things in my personal character that I wanted to change but although I prayed to change myself and my heart and said my confession during the service, I did not feel the conviction that would encourage me to make real change.  

After a Christmas Eve service that felt anything but christmassy I vowed to begin the search for a new spiritual home wherever that might be.  I trusted God.  I visited various places and prayed for guidance.  I wasn’t looking for different music or preaching or anything material.  I was looking for His presence in the service and people and a way to worship from the heart and study God’s word deeply, whoever was in the pulpit, because I knew only God’s presence would fill me up.  I found it in January, at Crosspoint Church in Hutchinson, Kansas.  Now this is a complete change from what I was raised and attended all my life.  I am eternally grateful that my parents raised me in a church home and that I was blessed enough to know Jesus as my savior.  It was because of this upbringing  that I knew what to look for and what I wanted to find.  Within the first few services I found the conviction of my heart and actions that I had been looking for.  That doesn’t mean I immediately stopped my struggles with myself but I felt my prayers beginning to be answered.  7 months into a new church home and I feel changed.  I have given up the things that were heavy on my heart due to the conviction of God’s word I heard in the sermons and songs.  I have found my favorite day of the week is Sunday because I get to worship in a congregation of joyous members;  who are diverse in demographics and experiences.  I want it to be plain that it wasn’t the pastors, the music , or the location that made a difference to me.  It wasn’t a beautiful building, or any amenities.  I have heard many pastors preach here, heard both contemporary songs and hymns during the services.  It was the presence of God in this place through the community and the speaking of His words honestly translated that have renewed me.  I am joining the church and excited to find out how I can further grow up, love God and serve all in Christ’s name.  

I hope and pray that all might find this feeling of spiritual enrichment wherever they attend.  There are no perfect worship settings for everyone, but I pray that if not satisfied, if lost and unfulfilled even after devoting time and energy into a church life, they don’t become complacent. Don’t just go through the motions and lose the joy of being a Christian and living and learning God’s word.  Our salvation is too precious a gift to not love living it every day!

Connection: This explains a lot if you know me....

 No Call Me Maude tonight, instead I have another subject on my mind.  

If you are my friend or family member, then you have probably received a random text from me over the years.  It's a love text.  Out of the blue.  Simply because you are an important part of my universe.   

I spoke with a friend recently, and told her that I do this.  That many people probably think I'm crazy.  I, out of the blue sky, text and start a conversation.  I eventually tell them how much they mean to me. Thankfully, she said its okay.  =)

  I have lots of thoughts about why I do this.  One major reason I feel is because I experienced loss at such a young age.  A cousin of mine, just two years younger than I was died from brain cancer.  We were close.  We played together when at family events.  It was so hard.  My first experience with mortality, with someone near my age. That in itself is life altering.  

From that time on I have felt that it is important to tell others how I feel.  I live in a bubble that tells me, life is uncertain.  It can change at any moment. And if it does, someone may never know how important they were in my life.  So I vow to always tell them.

I think if I were made a super hero, my power would be a heart that radiates love and concern for others.  I used to think this was a curse.  Because I wanted to take care of and fix all that I saw in my world as an injustice or detriment  to another person.  But I'm getting older.  Now I see it as a calling more than a roadblock.  

I spend more time thinking, about the past and present.  I remember and acknowledge those who are important or have been important to me.  I find them online if I don't already have their contact information and I make contact again.  I revel in becoming reacquainted.  Just because they are amazing people who I remember I loved dearly during my life.  I make time to be with them.  I plan time together, send virtual hugs and messages of encouragement.  I do my utmost best to let those I love know how I feel.  Just in case....in case there is no tomorrow.  

So, if you get a text or a late night facebook message from me, I hope you feel joy.  I pray you know that you are such an important part of my life and heart that I am thinking and praying for you. I am loving you and just have to share the joy that you bring to my world.  It  could be New Years Eve, or after a night together at bunko, or even just because I thought of you from church. It could be that you are  my  child, or an aunt, uncle or cousin.  It could be you were my friend in the past and I miss the closeness we once shared. Life and people change.  Whatever the circumstance, I am sincere and reach out because I care about you.

Hugs to all those in my world.  I hope you read this, know I am talking about you, and that you will always be my world.  💗

Call Me Maude: Section 4

I have been editing the new sections.  Going a bit slow.  Here's a shorter segment.  Enjoy! 

Section 4: 

Has it only been four days since Erma died?  Maude poured herself her second cup of coffee for the morning, and looked out the window to her apartment, on the top floor of the Arbor towers central building.  She knew that she had a meeting in two hours, and needed all the liquid gumption she could get from the dark brew.  The board of directors were going to be briefed by  the police department.  Maude racked her brain to remember the name of the detective she spoke with when she and Marcella stumbled upon the squirrel and Erma. What did he say his name was?  Nelson? No, that’s not it.  Newsome?  No….that’s not it either...Neill, yes, Neill.  Detective Neill.  Damn straight, still beating the memory game. Age was a detriment, but not a winner.  Maude turned on her laptop to look over her notes before she faced the board and the detective.  She’d started making the document file the night of the “tragedy” at least that was what Maude referred to it as. Erma’s death was sad, but all the seniors at the Arbor were open to the idea that death was just around the bend, so losing someone wasn’t all that shocking. It was the way Erma was found and had died, now that was the real tragedy in the ordeal.

  Organizing her thoughts was essential to keeping this whole world she and her partners had created alive and well.  Life was so much easier when she was just teaching at Wheatbury High.  Then she thought that getting students to write out their calculations and label them correctly on their physics exams was rough...she had no idea until she started this retirement community with the partners.  Maude sighed, she’d thought retirement was going to be carefree and relaxing.  It should have been, only she’d complicated matters by wanting to invest in a future for her community  as well as her  friends, now she was working harder than ever. But her investment advisor years ago had told her to envision what her life would be after retirement, and all she could see was her friends.  And that was exactly what God had gifted her with, life with her friends in a perfect setting.  Now just to keep this dream going.  

Maude felt anxious about the meeting.  Not only because it was the first time all of the board had met since Erma’s death, but also because she had not heard anything at all  from the authorities since that day. The Wheatbury police department may have been silent on the matter, however the  Wheatbury Herald had not been quiet at all.  It was all speculation, but the Herald had been papering the town with innuendo and just shy of libelous news about Cottonwood Arbor and the “suspicious” death of Erma Walters.  Just the thought of the news articles and Barry Lowell’s wretched excuse for a newspaper made Maude’s blood sizzle with frustration.  If the Arbor had not built such a successful public image up to this point, then they would be in big trouble from the coverage of the Herald.  Yet so far, the seniors both at the Arbors and those  asking to buy into the retirement facility had remained positive.  Maude earnestly hoped this would remain so.

She carried her coffee cup to the sink, rinsed it and placed it into the dishwasher. She couldn’t stand for her apartment to be cluttered on any surface which included the kitchen sink.  She mused that an organized brain began with an organized environment. 

 Maude  snatched her key ring bracelet, slid it onto her wrist and headed to the door.  She grabbed the door handle before realizing she had forgotten her laptop, then turned around and seized the MacBook and its sleeve as she once again headed toward the door when her cell phone began to buzz.  She sighed. She didn’t want to field a call right now, but the pesky interruptance did keep her from leaving her phone behind.  Maude followed the buzz, hoping that it wouldn’t stop before she had located the phone.  Her recliner, yes, she could hear it, her phone was wedged in the seat cushion.  That’s right.  She had been checking her email when she first got up this morning and was sitting in her chair.  She reached for the phone just as it stopped and switched to voicemail.  Letting the message complete, Maude strode down the hall towards the conference room. Maude was just passing Marcella’s apartment door when it opened, startling her. 

“Lordy-be Maude, you liked to give me a fright.” Marcella exclaimed as she stepped into the hallway, shutting her apartment smartly behind her. 

“Scared you?”  Maude declared. “I was the one who just swallowed my heart!” 

“Well I just called you to see if you were on your way yet.  But you didn't answer. If you had, you would’ve known I was on my way out the door too!”

“I couldn’t find my phone in time.” Maude sighed.  Her heart rate had returned to normal but her nerves were still jangling at the thought of the meeting ahead of them.  “Marcella?”

“Hmmm?” Marcella replied.

“What do you think that Detective Neill will be going to tell us? I’m worried. I’m concerned about the Arbor and the effect his news will have on everything.”

There wasn’t time for Marcella to respond before they reached the door to the conference room.  Ben stood, holding the door as only Ben could, with his genial smile.  Maude instantly smiled in return.  She mused that even at 80, Ben was a quiet charmer.  He didn’t have the schmoozing  flair that Howard flaunted, yet Maude couldn’t think of any woman who would turn Ben away.  

“Thanks Ben,” Both Maude and Marcella chorused as they walked through the door together. 

Most of the board of directors were seated at the table waiting for the rest to arrive. The staff had kindly placed carafes of ice water at both ends of the table with glasses set at each chair.  There were no chairs at either end of the long table as the members of the board had decided early on that no one would be chairman, but they would all have equal status. Maude and Marcella took their seats next to each other, and Maude slipped her computer out of its sleeve to begin warming up.

  Out of the corner of her eye, Maude caught the sight of the Reyes shuffling papers in a folder. 

“What cha got their Nikolaus?” she asked. 

“I brought the clippings from the Wheatbury Herald, I wanted to see if anything the detective tells us matches up with some of the speculations that metiroso Lowell has been printing.”

“Good thinking.”  

“It is Esmerelda and my prayer that nothing come from all this and will go away fast! ‘yo diría’ Si?”

Hi God, It's Me Again

 One thing that I have done since retiring is taken a renewed interest in reading my bible.  I use the Bible app daily reading plan to complete the bible in a year's time.  Every morning, I open the app and read or listen to the passages for the day.  Then following that I pray for those on my heart for that day.  

Each time I begin my prayers I say, " Hi God, It's me again."  I think I begin this way because I feel I have such a personal relationship with Him.  I pray often and I feel my prayers are just talking to my God.  A prayer life is so important to having that intimate relationship with Him.  It takes time to form a habit, and to make praying an essential piece of life and not just a casual practice.  

Sometimes I go to God in prayer with an urgency for something that is heavy on my heart.  Perhaps I have heard about a serious illness, or a friend's needs for prayers for their family.

Other times I am more casual and just sit and talk with God, like a simple conversation.  Does He already know all that I am telling Him?  Certainly.  But as with  any child, I know he likes to hear me talk to Him, just to hear my voice.  Much the same way I feel when I speak with my family and kids.  I may already know the news, or perhaps there is no news at all, but I want to hear their voices just because I love them so much. 

Then there are the times that I just sit in quiet with Him, not saying anything, but simply wanting to be still in His presence.  Just because I want to be near to Him, knowing He is always there with me no matter what.  

I think it is important to understand that as much as I would like to ask God for everything I want or need, and sometimes I do, I don't expect anything in return, it's enough to just be with Him.  I know that God answers prayers in different ways and just because I ask, does not mean I am going to be immediately given my hearts desire.  Why? well, His ways aren't my ways.  I can't see what the ultimate picture is and don't know how each action I ask for will fit into my overall life.  Also, I have been brought up in the church and been taught that God answers prayers three ways.  Sometimes he says yes.  Sometimes he says no.  And sometimes he says be patient, I'm doing this My way.  

As a believer, I can feel frustrated when I hear people say to me, "I prayed to God, I really did but He didn't care.  He wasn't there for me."  I understand why they feel like that, but in my heart I wish they would dig deeper into the word and continue to build a relationship with Christ.  Instant gratification is only for search engines and fast food restaurants.  Those are of this world and not a spiritual world.  Any great relationship takes work, and a consistent  commitment of time and energy.  With trust and faith a spiritual life can be so incredibly fulfilling and rewarding!

As I write this tonight, I pray for everyone to experience the love and comfort of simply knowing Jesus Christ and trusting in His presence, with each and every prayer.  

Section 3: Call Me Maude

 Here's the next section, there's a couple new characters, I hope you enjoy!

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After leaving the walking trail and taking a very long bubble bath, Maude almost felt human again.  At least better than Erma, she thought in dismay.  

The dining room at the independent living apartment building, Redbud House,  was full of conversation seasoned with sadness. The mood, like a foul smell, continued to rise up to the top floor apartments The penthouse apartments housed the core group of investors from whose  brain child, Cottonwood Arbor, had emerged.  They were a hodgepodge group, all from different walks of life, yet all had ended up in the town of Wheatbury, either through lifetime work or now retired.  

As investors, they had a private floor of well accommodated apartments to themselves, with a conference room in the center of the floor plan. Tonight, the room was being used as a dining room for the board members.

Nicholas and Esmeralda Reyes had their heads bent together over their cell phones, comparing notes in hushed Spanish, their  restaurant, now actually owned by their children, catered the meal.

Marcella, sat sipping her spicy tomato juice, while checking her twitter account for tweets about today’s events.  Harold, sequestered on  a sectional sofa in the corner, was  fielding calls from the local news sources giving comments and answering questions.  Ben and Maude hunched over the computer, as they checked the email account for the visitors. Many condolences were rolling in, along with inquiries for openings on the waiting list.  Seniors were pragmatists.

A knock on the conference room announced the arrival of the Reye’s family’s catering van, with the night’s meal.  No one was in the mood for dining room fare after the ordeal.  Comfort food of  homemade chips and salsa, tamales, stuffed poblano chilis, and arroz con leche.  Was just the kind of comfort they all needed. Flavorful and robust food helped to fill the void they were feeling.  

“Yes, she was a dear woman,” Harold’s voice boomed from the corner, his voice carried no matter the distance. “No, the Arbor Village Estates have no comment at this time, the circumstances are being investigated.” 

Maude and Ben turned toward Harold’s voice, in curiosity of the conversation happening on both sides of the cell phone connection.  

“Of course,” Harold  with a practiced phrase, “We will release a statement as soon as the authorities allow.”  Maude caught Harold’s gaze and he gifted her with an eye roll in answer.  Local news, made for cautious handling.  

“Do you think there will be a big fall out for Cottonwood Arbor Village?” Ben whispered to Maude as they scanned through the last page of email and communications from the day.  “I sure hope not, the last thing we need right now is to have the resident’s families to raise concern over the safety of the facilities.”

“Harold knows how to spin the story,”  Maude , “As long as we are on this side of his spinning, I think we will be fine.”  

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Dr. James Mertzen watched the models showcase the newest product the network was taping for SSN. The “boot scootin’ bootie,” the orthopedic boot that had wheels on the bottom, was supposed to make having to wear a boot for ankle and foot soft tissue strains and breaks more fun and functional.  The wheels on the bottom raised and lowered to match the height of the other leg’s shoe.  Vernon thought it looked like a broken hip ready to happen.Oh well, as an orthopedic surgeon it wasn’t too bad, a  two for one benefit, money now, money later.  

The models for the product were spinning one legged donuts in front of the green screen, showing off their paper white teeth and fresh young faces.  They were in their twenties, not barely ambulatory patients in a nursing home.  The good doctor wondered if he truly would be liable if one of the seniors were injured wearing the boot.  He rubbed the bridge of his nose hoping to rub the tension out of his forehead

He’d better talk to the legal eagles on this one before it aired. All he needed was another lawsuit.  Mertzen was already in Lowell Barry’s pockets much deeper than he ever envisioned he would be beholden to anyone. 

The Senior Shopping Network(SSN) was his brainchild.  He’d put all his money into it and so far it had been a success. He’d used his entire inheritance from his father’s estate, 200 million dollars . 

Before buying the network he’d studied his competition, and found they sold anything and everything under the sun on their channels. However not necessarily  the senior targeted items that his network showcased. 

Vernon rubbed his eyes, and watched the screen. 

 

HIs cell phone buzzed in his pocket.  He wanted to ignore the nuisance. He wasn’t on call.  Wasn’t in the clinic and for once had no patients in recovery at Wheatbury Regional Medical.  There was really no reason to have to check his phone, other than pure human curiosity.  

“Mertzen”

“Well, hello there Jimmy, Lowell here. Am I catching you at a bad time ole buddy?” 

“Oh course not...Barry. What do you want?” Rubbing his forehead, just above his brows, James knew a full blown headache was now on it’s way.

“Do I have to want something to call my frat buddy? Maybe I just want to catch up, make a golf tee time with my friend.” said Barry, his voice as greasy as the diner’s burger James had eaten for his lunch. And having the same effect on him, as  nausea and heartburn began it’s way up his GI tract to keep his headache company.

“But you don’t want to play golf do you, Barry? You want something, what now?” 

“Well,” Barry said, “remember that little ole shipment of AgeRedo that you just promoted on the SSN?  Well...I need you to donate 100 cases to Cottonwood Arbor, from both of us of course.”

“That’s a $5000.00 donation, so are you writing me a check?” Mertzen growled. 

“Nope, you owe me….remember…..Jimmy? You owed me then, you owe me now….you will always owe me.  Remember, once a brother, always a brother. Can you recall  the Alpha Kappa Lambda pledges, brother?” Barry said,  with a snide tone to his voice as he continued. “I believe in brotherhood as friendship of the highest calling. And... I accept the membership in Alpha Kappa Lambda as binding for life.” 

 

James cringed, Barry’s constant dramatic pauses made him want to strangle him.  

“You seem to have a very selective memory, Barry. There are several more parts to the pledges, yet you only remember the ones you choose.”

“That’s because those are the only ones that matter, as long as you are practicing medicine and have patients who might mind if they knew the truth.