What is your authentic self?

 About fifteen years ago a social trend emerged that focussed on a person finding their authentic self.  I remember reading self help books with friends and working through the exercises to discover "who" I truly was or was becoming.  At that time my children were leaving the nest, and I felt rather bereft of the person I had been for so many years.  

It's telling to me that now years later, I am actually learning and becoming that authentic person I "tried" to discover so long ago.

Age and life's circumstantial situations are  great teachers.  I have attempted to change myself over the years. Yet my true nature emerges as I move forward in life. 

I am first and foremost a Christian.  I think about our triune God daily, and throughout each day.  I am in conversation and prayer with Him during my days and I live my regular existence praising, thanking, and petitioning Him on any and every need or concern that arises.  It's like drinking water or breathing air to me.  Just an essence that sustains me. I read His word.  I try to stay aware that everything I have, am or will be is only due to his grace and mercy.

Now, that doesn't mean I don't make plenty of mistakes and faux pas.  You show me a Christian and I will show you a person who will be a constant project throughout their existence.  

Next, I am a mom and wife and hopefully a good friend.  Loving others is very essential to me. 

I recently have unearthed another part of myself I thought I had rather lost.  In my past, my raising kids years, I tended to be assertive in multiple roles.  Leadership opportunities just landed in my lap.  I think it's because I am at my core an impatient individual.  I am curious and want answers.  I don't like waiting for them, so I work through problems to discover the answers.  For several years I tried to tamp down this trait. Let others make the decisions and sit on the back burner rather than make waves around me.  I was always feeling a bit lost, but somehow I thought being more meek and biddable would be best for others around me, allowing them to take charge of my environment.   This summer, I changed my mind.  I stopped acquiescing when giving my opinion and became my forthright self again.  Oh boy does it feel good!!!!!   I started working with the city to get city water offered to my subdivision, and I got busy figuring out what improvements I want to add to my home to enjoy here the next twenty plus years.  Taking the initiative is helping me to embrace my true impatient nature. My ultimate authenticity.

What my lifework is showing me is that to be my authentic self I need to first embrace my spiritual connection, Christ, then I need to envelop my God given nature and the gifts He has blessed me with; my organizational, impatient, and earnest self.   So, the big lesson is, you can't change your authentic self and you shouldn't. It's not something to "find" like I thought in the 2010's of my younger self.  It comes from knowing the creator of the person you are, then taking what He gave you and using it. 

My hope is that anyone that reads this can spend some time pondering their own authentic selves and the gifts they have been blessed with from our great God.  💓 Figure out how to use those talents and be the person you were created to be! 😊

  

It Ends Here by Heidi Perks

     Having worked and taught in a Kansas High School for many years I saw my fair share of bullying.  Yes, it is strictly prohibited and when caught it is addressed and  dealt with to the best ability of the educational system, but to be brutally honest much goes without accountability being taken. Sadly that is the society we live in, both in person and online.

As an educator I have used various illustrations to bring the damage bullying can cause to light. The crumpled piece of paper, one that is pristine the first day of school then someone crushes it into a ball and no matter how much a person tries to flatten it back out it carries the damage done to it forever; or the toothpaste tube, when squeezed and the paste is squirted out it can never be put back into the tube again. Both showing how irreparable damage inflicted can not be undone. I have also known those who have been bullied and never fully recovered their confidence after the incidents. So I was anxious to read It Ends Here after seeing it listed on my NetGalley website. 

Heidi Perks's novel, It Ends Here, deals with the tragic aftermath of a student being bullied by a set of high school peers which leaves lasting effects throughout their lifetime.  

Five strangers end up in a diner early one morning at the English seaside, Isle of Wight. A nearby boatman calls the police to report a shot has been fired. Five strangers are then held hostage while the police try to figure out the names of those in the diner and which person is the one holding the gun.  Families are summoned and interviewed. Each family member tries to uncover what is happening and whether their loved one could be the gunman or woman. 

The identity is withheld until the very end, and it is a surprise to find out who they are as well as the motive behind the event.

I was definitely kept in suspense.  I did not figure out the entire ending until the actual end.  That was an enjoyable part of reading It Ends Here.  The only negative comment I have to share is that the book's plot moved slowly.  I really had to work to stay engaged in the story until the end. I was glad that I did, but it was difficult to keep going as the book would not be what I consider a page turner.  I rate It Ends Here with 3 stars because of that fact.  

I do feel that "being bullied" is an important topic to bring forward and Parks does an admirable job of portraying the damage that can experienced; by both being tormented as the one bullied,  and the the regrets of the adults who perpetuated the bullying when they were children.  

It Ends Here by Heidi Perks publishes October 6, 2026 by Poisoned Pen Press. Thank you to NetGalley, Poisoned Pen Press, and Heidi Perks for the Advanced Readers Copy of It Ends Here in exchange for this honest review.

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